Thursday, November 23, 2006
life isn't easy...
work...play...home...family...life...love....nothing comes easy...there are always problems...there will always be obstacles..Funny how ppl always say...."There's a blessing in disguise"..."Every cloud has a silver lining"...Ever wondered what it means....i have...yeah blessing in disguise...only when the blessing comes...more things happen that would make you say that phrase again.. Guess it just gives people something to hold on to..something to hope for..hope on hope for a brighter day and better future...does it happen? not normally...on the wheels of life..you dont particularly stay on the top for very long...especially when you are going at top speed.. before you realise you are on top, you have already come crashing down...on a lighter note, i decided to let that person know my deepest feelings..well i have always had the issue...my feelings get buried deep inside...my insecurities never voiced out..my fear gets pushed aside...to eruption point..by then, it is normally too late..too late to do much rectifying as the damage is too great to fix...well...here's a step for me...step in the other direction..aniways..told him how i felt...abt the job..abt the hours..abt the time left he has for me..abt how i felt alone and lonely...abt his attitude towards me..abt the many times that i get the brunt of his anger when he is tired.. well we had a long chat...really long...i realised that as i grow older, i expect much more from my partners... i used to be ok with being left alone...but nowadays its beginning to be quite unbearable. he apologised for all that he's done ...he realises that he has been neglecting me to a certain extent..i apologise for being insecure...for not trusting..for doubting...and i feel....fwahhh the burden lifted...the fear thwarted..i always feared that if i say how i really feel then people would not understand.. and things will get worse.. and people will start leaving...but i guess that person is different...he listened...reasoned out.. and made me feel more assured than i had been in weeks...assured of myself...that i can do it...that i can go thru with it...he asked me to listen to a song.. says to me..."even if i do not call you, don't think that im not thinking of you..." smiling all the way home...but the insecurities creeping in ever so slightly with ever passing minute....guess it would take more than just words to calm me down...
Darnisha â¥
11:21 AM
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