Monday, January 29, 2007
back into the game
im putting myself back....back into the game...back into the world of dating....after abt 7 years not being in it...feeling rather awkward..thrown into the unknown again.. not sure what to do..what to say..how to conduct urself during the first date...the getting to know each other again...GAWD!!!!!! horrible...i suck at it i think...the hi how are you how am i....eyuchhhh....bluerghhhh vomits vomits...thanks to my fren, Vem...she strung me up with a few people that i am starting to regret it...not only that im having difficulties keeping up with who is who.... well for her, guys are just for plays...her attitude is why is it that guys can treat women like thrash and get away with it....sleep with the girl and not call the next day is totally ok....i mean i do not agree with her totally...told her dat she is totally jaded and disillusioned by relationships and men...she agreed with that....to me, there is still some hope for the men out there... there are some nice ones i think... just very few and far between....my fears tho.....that i will fall too quickly...let myself be carried away with the emotions such that i lose control...vem said, do not lose control... and that i agree....tho im putting myself out there...to love and to be loved by someone...im not sure im ready for the world out there...after all, my previous relationships were all transitions from comfortable friendship....where there were no awkwardness of getting to know each other...oh wait a minute...before it became friendships there was the getting to know each other period...haizzz i dunno....im just a little lost and losing my footing here....this is totally new grounds for me ya noe....and scares the shit out of me...for the first time in 7 yrs im totally single...there was no person to fall back on...im totally alone and on my own...the realisation hits me...hits me really HARD!!!...
Darnisha â¥
7:27 PM
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Friday, January 26, 2007
wat it leads to.....
life has a funny way to working itself out....at one moment you can be on the highest high...the next moment the lowest low...
friendship....more often than not...is taken for granted...
those friends who may mean the world to me...may not be the best for me...those friends who are not always around but there when you need them are the ones to cherish...but wat do i have to do in return for these friends?..what would be good enough? does hurting my own heart to grant them happiness gives me happiness in the end...light at the end of the tunnel sorta thing...im not sure anymore...ive grown not to care...but it mite be misconstrued as me taking my friends for granted.... they will always be in my heart no matter wat...but lately, i could feel myself getting a little bit sensitive...always thinking that some friends out there are not happy with me...when they do not answer a call....when they cancel dates....i dunno y im getting a little wee bit sensitive.... and i do not like it at all...
relationship....for most of the times...expectations are higher on others than on self...
expectations on partners may differ too.. things are never easy...its never simple...some people can take shit from a person....but tolerance level is really low on another person...
so how do we make our lives perfect?...it is up to us...and we choose whether we want it to be perfect.. we cannot choose how we feel but we can choose how we deal with it.. emotions comes naturally in my opinion...it mite be something subconscious...it just comes and you noe its there...hurt, pain, sorrow, happiness, joyful, .... but how you choose to deal with it makes the world of difference...
lately ive chosen to deal with it with something potent...wat a little bit of vodka and tequila can do to you....forget those worries....with my short term memory...once im sober, im out of the rut cos i cant remember why i got depressed in the first place...i noe its not the best way to handle situations...but its the best way for me i guess...for the moment...
Darnisha â¥
11:14 AM
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
adding on - CAFE DEL MAR
hiya peeps....
the last entry was really a downplay of wat happened the last weekend eh...
was abit boring the entry...hehehe... wateva lah... cant be bothered to repeat it...
something new to share...cafe del mar at sentosa is soooooo darnnn cool.... it so exudes chill-ness and sexy-ness.... me, my sis and cuz were supposed to go to sentosa for suntanning....oh yeah we went on the SENTOSA EXPRESS!!!.... the new monorail...was really cool... and we just basically zip thru the hassle of the visitor arrival centre at sentosa...as in on the S.Ex. (Sentosa Express)...we just zip past it and direct to Beach Station...without having to go through the bus queues and all dat... arriving in super style man...
anyhoooo we got to the beach and it was like overcast skies cloudy and shit....my darling sistar declares that she is the bringer of rain as every single time she wants to go tanning, rain happens....so as we were walking, trying to find a nice spot...we saw this area on the beach covered with cool day beds, four-poster day beds with sexy drapes...cushions and stuff.... then we realised it was CAFE DEL MAR!!!!.... and we cant possibly just walk past without at least sitting for a while... guess wat we spent the whole afternoon there... there was one pool and two jacuzzi pools...so we ordered drinks got changed and laze around in the jacuzzi....hey, dats the life....with the sounds of cool chillout music in the background...checking out every single dude that walked past...whoa...its really THE place to be ya noe... plus its open 24 hrs...from afternoon to 9pm drinks are one for one...normal lah kan.... and the DJ dude was cute-HOT...(wen we were leaving they actually said BYE).. yeah the skies were still overcast but hell we were in the shelter... it was friggin' cold when we finally got out of the pool....and we were as shrivelled as prunes...but well...we had the times of our lives...our photos looked like we were in Ibiza or something....*i promise to load them up soon....
Darnisha â¥
10:36 AM
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Monday, January 22, 2007
steady on girllll
recovering now....from a major hangover....GAWDDDD my head feels like its gonna burst...i got to know someone at st james on friday nite... name is hafiz.... honestly he is horrible...horny little toad...kept feeling me up...taking my hands and placing strategically at his member.... FREAK DORY!!!..... kept trying to kiss me... and YUCKSSSS... it was a slobbery wet tongues all over the place kind... it was horrible...was so tempted to ask him where da hell did ya learn how to kiss...tongues dun turn me on mannn... it sure as hell put me off...other than that horrible incident...the night at St James with the Bro was great... we had soo much fun even tho it was only the two of us.... the next nite was my sister's and cousin's bdae....and we decided to go St James again... it was our first adult cousin bonding session...and we had sooooo much fun toooo... nobody expected all of us to be as crazy as we all were.... Wan asked... r u all sure u coming st james?...we danced the night away... we laughed and chatted and catch up on lots of things... and my darling cousins got me pissed drunk...was halfway there on my own before the boys got there...initially there were the shy awkward moments trying to get used to each other.... in the end we were falling over each other... literally falling over each other....hehehehe....i want to wish my sister a happiest birthday of all... i sure hope that she enjoyed herself as much as we all did..... kudos to her for arranging the meet..... and i hope that this outing is the first of many more to come....wseeeeee
Darnisha â¥
3:09 PM
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Friday, January 19, 2007
St James here i come
yehaaaaa.....St James here i come.....looking forward to a helluva party at St James...best part is that im most probably going there two nites in a row...one with my dearest dear...the next with my darling sister....gonna paint the town bloody red....life doesnt get any better....updates...ive been busy...recently got to know this guy..his name is errmm i shall not disclose as yet...dun want to jinx it ya know....more abt him...well he is athletic...he is into dragon boat...does jungle-trekking, hiking, all that ya noe...haizzz perfect....he likes RnB HipHop and hates techno and house...perfect again aye?... catch is...ive never seen him...never met him...saw the photo on a fren's blog...from what i saw, he is chinese looking and tanned...wat do ya expect man...best thing is...he is not the typical mat...like mamat emo ahh...he's real cool...but we shall see how things go eh...on the other front...relationship between me and my soul is rather good these days...dunno y...we seem to be closer when we are not together...closer but with limits...im here as a sister to take care of soul when needed...from what i can see, soul not happy with the current squeeze...kept complaining abt her...dun understand me...dun noe me...soul kept saying...me just listen...with the occasional uhmmss, okss...let soul ventilate... then we go home... dats it...no hurt anymore...so proud of miself ya'all....aniways...getting ready now...for my night in town....see ya all mateys....
Darnisha â¥
9:17 PM
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Thursday, January 18, 2007
WOW!!!!!
life is getting more and more interesting....
proposals left right and centre...yeah rite...feeling jerr...
aniways...not so much of proposals but somehow people seems to be trying hard to matchmake me around with friends lah cousins lah housing agents lah...haiz....
nonsense lah they all
aku yg single...dorang yg desperate
Darnisha â¥
5:04 PM
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007
man oh man oh man....
me and ma sis have been planning this thing...seems like forever...we were going to celebrate her 21st bdae with a bang...she wanted to stay out all nite...partying or somethin...watever she said...planned to ajak all the older cousins along for the escapade...but lo and behold...things are not meant to be ehh...mum dropped a bombshell..."ur aunt and cousin from brunei is coming..and we are gonna have a kenduri on dat saturday"....
dastard...crapsters...pissed i am...more pissed ma sis is... she was fuming when she told me...yeah its her 21st bdae...and she has been going through some tough times lately...
talking abt tough times...yeah its tough times ahead but i choose to face it...with a smile on my face...yeah it sure as hell hurts the first few times my soul talked abt a new girl in life...rather two new girls which soul is unsure which to choose...it hurts but i choose to face it straight on...no avoiding..no turning back...i actually was able to give soul advice on wat to do how to proceed...GAWDDD... amazing aint it?..cured? i dun think im that cured yet..but at least it doesnt hurt that much anymore...no point getting drunk abt this isnt it?
talking abt drunk...went to pasir ris last saturday after the wedding...so far, i have never felt as i did dat night...i dun even know y...considering the amount i had, i didnt think it was possible...i dun think i was but i staggered home...fell down some stairs but of cos only felt the pain the day after...
well....watever it is, im looking forward to friday....yeehaaaa...going st james...not to see soul or create trouble...more to find trouble :) troubled fun......and hopefully saturday our plans succeed...that we manage to go past all the makciks and pakciks and have a wonderful evening with ma cuzins.....
Darnisha â¥
4:41 PM
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Monday, January 15, 2007
wat the......
.....HELL!!!!!!!!someone pushed my buttons the last weekend...GAWD such crap i couldnt believe it...was supposed to meet the CAT on sunday...turns out we didn't...some misunderstanding... i don't even know how to start telling the story....it ended with the cat saying dat im seriously really irresponsible... dat to me was rather uncalled for...i was already pissed off...to push the button real deep, the cat actually informed someone else....dats the part that i dun get... i mean the cat's always saying dun tell people, tak nak banyak songeh...but then it went and told anyway... wat the.....yah dat pissed me rite off...y? cos the other person was like my bestest friend..i mean wat was the objective...my first thot wen this incident happened i actually felt like telling him (my friend)...but i refrained cos the cat and he are friends..and i respect their friendship...and i do have some respect for the cat.. i didnt think it was important plus i thot this was between us and should be settled between us...i was actually more pissed off by this than cat calling me irresponsible..yah i admit that i can sometimes be...gawd honestly i didnt know where that came from.. irresponsible cos i couldnt make up my mind wat i wanted to do...or cos i couldnt make it in time...im just soo bloody pissed off rite now....
Darnisha â¥
5:15 PM
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
my soul
i have been a vacant vehicle..driving around aimlessly
i have found my soul again....lost it for awhile
badan & nyawa....dat was what we were before we got together.. body and soul..we used to joke that we can never ever be separated till the day we die..we promised that we will always be....cos body and soul can never be separated except when body expires and soul gets pulled out from the comfortable earthly vehicle.. one and a half year on...we are back to Body & Soul..
soul is sick...in hospital...asthma...been visiting for two days past... talking to soul again..like how we used to be..joked around..kid around abt nonsense..abt anything and everything.. there were weird and awkward moments..but both of us faced it with a smile..i agree that getting over each other has not been easy..but we are both glad that we can still be there for each other...and depend on each other...
Body & Soul...the love we have for each other runs deep and will always be there..something that i don't think that people will understand....we may both move on with our lives beyond our previous relationship...when all else fails, we still have each other
Darnisha â¥
10:13 AM
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007
S.B.R.
dats short for Siloso Beach Resort where i spent the last weekend at....it was such a romantic place for a getaway...resort by the beach...all rooms overlooking the sea...the room was abit small... for four people...more specifically three big people and one tiny dwarf.... we tried squeezing in the tiny two single beds...till one of us gave up and slept on the floor... but dat didnt stop the other big fella from squishing me in the middle of the night... hehe...considering he had the bed all to himself and he still squished tiny-me.....had nowhere to move since im between him and the CAT...
hmmm....wat a way to start the new year...with a BANG i tell u.... we had fun... lounging in the room, lounging by the poolside, lounging by the beach... in short we were just lounging around...lounging and talking...gossiping abt people...certain individuals took up a lot of the airtime...hehehe....tho everyone vowed not to talk abt that individual but the name keeps coming up...my highlight of the trip was the three-way midnight symphonic orchestra..really should have recorded it..... :)
anyway, the trip is over....back to life...back to reality...back to work...darn it....unlike some people who im guessing are still lounging....
Darnisha â¥
10:13 AM
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