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Tuesday, January 31, 2006
CNY

Happy Chinese New Year to all Chinese... and Happy New Year to all Muslims...

havent had much time to actually do much updates on my life... mebe cos there is nothing to update on... went cycling yesterday... yeaps on chinese new year holiday.. wanted to do something healthy.. man, were there a lot of people at east coast... was like the whole of singapore decided to go east coast.. which led me to think.. there is really nothing much to do in singapore is there... i mean for leisure... either everything is so bloody expensive or there really is nothing... i mean really.. wat else is there to do... dinner.. movie... supper...shopping... movie again...the beach....clubs and shit...wat else....

BORED!!!!
Darnisha ♥ 2:41 PM link to post 0 comments


Monday, January 16, 2006
life's precious


Darnisha ♥ 1:23 AM link to post 0 comments


Saturday, January 14, 2006
awful side of life


Darnisha ♥ 2:32 AM link to post 0 comments


Thursday, January 12, 2006


trying my best to change the skin of this blog thing... but couldnt do it..
my bimbo-ass head cant seem to function... have no idea what the hell is the problem..kept getting farnie stuff on my blog after saving the template... BLOGGERBRAINED.... cant think no more...

anihoo..cant sleep... as usual... wats new... wats new is i have a bloody meeting in the morning at the other side of the freaking island dats wats new... tomorrow and the day after... nid to get up early... dat means I NID TO SLEEP!!!!......nid my pills.. unfortunately ran out of my tranquilizers... dats rite... the doctor gave me tranqs cos i was complaining that i cldnt sleep.... like im some kinda wild animal that needs to be put down giving me tranqs and all... haaa.. but the stuff works... one little pink pill and my worries fly out the window... man, i sound like a drug addict.. i assure you that im not... i only take it when i cant sleep... when i havent slept for a few days.. haiz... missing my pwincess....lots and lots...


ah well... shall try to sleep the natural way... count sheep... 1...2....3....4....5....6....7.............. Zzzzz.....
Darnisha ♥ 1:36 AM link to post 0 comments


Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Brand new day..

the start of a brand new day for me

let me tell you how im feeling at the moment.. hmm... feeling nothing.. feeling bored.. feeling like i should do something but not sure wat to do... hmm.. i think i shall carry out my every-year resolution... go out and exercise!!.. hahaha..
Darnisha ♥ 5:20 PM link to post 0 comments


Sunday, January 08, 2006
same ol' brand new me


Darnisha ♥ 2:44 AM link to post 0 comments



i love him ... i still do...

chanced upon someon's blog tonite.. ges you can say that im .....arghhh... cant remember the word.. i meant to say like the kind of person who would do something even though u noe it hurts... from time to time.. i would find myself drawn to viewing HIS friendster profile.. it hurts when i see the profile change to "in a relationship"... it hurts to see the new photos with HIS new LOVE... it hurts baaddd... but i still go and see it anyway... Y????... and tonite.. i chanced upon his blog... and it hurt real bad to read his thoughts and her inputs..

SOMEBODY - depeche mode
not only is that my all-time fav song, that was the song for our first date that four years ago on the sand spit in Perth... told him that my ideal 1st date would be dancing under the moonlight at the beach.. and he did exactly that... brought back a ton load of memories... and a ton load of tears ....

Love HURTS
nobody said that life is easy.. no one told me it would be this hard....
four years is a long time.. i LOVE Him.. I still do.. i cant explain why i took the decision to end it all... i noe it hurts him alot.. and i will never be able to explain it to him.. either that or he wouldnt understand.. tho i hope tat he is a changed person now.. that he treats her better... seems like it through his expressions...y i did it?... mebbe i just gave up fighting... was too hard.. had to fight my way through family.. through friends.. with him... mebe i jus gave up...regretted it?... not really... couldnt live with him..don't think ill be able to live with him under the same roof...

cried for days and weeks before i made the decision... cried for days and weeks after... yeah true.. when i broke the news to him, i didn't shed a tear.. didnt want him to see the hurt and the pain.. my hands were swollen... my head was spinning... punched and hit my head against the wall..bruises on my thighs.. yah i hit myself... in frustration.. God only knows how many times i actually do that at that point..cried myself to sleep many many times during that four years.... honestly.. i don't think he loved me.. don't think that he cared about me or my feelings at all... i don't think im wanted in his life...i felt useless...felt ugly.. felt unwanted...he didnt need me... said so himself...im no longer a priority....

WORDS HURT MORE
he always say his actions speak louder than words... but words hurt more...if the word has already caused the hurt, can the actions heal it?... but wat if he didnt noe that the words have hurt..how then can the actions heal... told him before.. when i cry, just hold me...just hug me and reassure me things are alrite... time and time again, when i cry... i cry in silence... for fear that he would be angry with me.. would scold me.. would use those words to hurt and hurt me more... i couldnt take it anymore... felt so alone... in this world with billions of people.. i felt so alone...

i did not know how else to deal with it.. so i left... without giving reason.. without explanations... 5 months have passed... i still feel the hurt... i still feel the pain.. i love him... i still do... but i just cant go on with it... i wish him all the best with his new love.. told him to treat her well... words still hurt...but he seems to be a different person now... why cant he be like this new person when he was with me??... mebe we both bring out the worse in each other...

all i have now is me and my princess.....

Darnisha ♥ 2:28 AM link to post 0 comments


Tuesday, January 03, 2006
is it monday?..


Darnisha ♥ 4:01 PM link to post 0 comments


Monday, January 02, 2006
life's lyk dat

had tiff with mum... again...
wonder if she feels as sick and tired of it as i m.. she has to say the same things over and over again.. its always the same issue... i don spend enough time at home... i don help out at home.. i take her for granted.. blah blah blah... my response has always been the usual "i'm sorry. i wont do it agn"...yeah yeah im the eldest spose to be showing a good example to the little ones but im the most irresponsible...
how do i tell her dat i'm 26 goin 27?...how do i tell her dat certain things she said and done had upset me dat i would rather not be at home?..how do i make her see that i do pull my weight around the house?.. i do help her.. i do housework.. i did do my part..i woke up early morning almost everyday to cook for our early meal to prepare for fasting.. i did not sleep God-Knows how many nights to prepare for the celebrations and festivities.. bust my ass off while SOME of my sisters lounge around...i do not expect any thankyous... but at least gimme some credit..how do i tell her dat i wanna stay on my own??????..............
Darnisha ♥ 1:27 AM link to post 0 comments