Friday, June 22, 2007
Over it...
i cant believe how relieved i feel now... honestly i m happy to be finally rid of the nuisance...yeah i noe its horrible of me to address HIM as a nuisance...but lately he has been more of that than a fren...read through my bro's blog and saw the lyrics of the song Over it...haaa dat's sooo describes how i feeling at the moment...you know...thank God the phase has finally come to an end...aside from that, im feeling pissed off again...arrrggghhhhh a story for another day...
Darnisha â¥
6:20 PM
link to post
0 comments
Friday, June 15, 2007
GoOD RiDDanCE to BAD ruBBisH
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!!Ive had enough of your shit...enough of your emotional blackmail...it doesnt work on me anymore...say wat you want...I HAVE HAD IT...the only reason ive hung on for this long is the fact that i pity you...i didnt have the heart to just leave you in a lurch... after all that ive done for you, all that ive given u...all the troubles i go through with my family.... no word of thanks...no appreciation at all...instead you treated me like dirt..now when there is someone who is willing to pick up the pieces of my heart...willing to love me and care for me...you freaking flipped out...pulled out the emotional card..saying that ive changed, im not the same person ever since u left...that u left me for a reason...that it was all for my sake...to protect me from further hurt and pain and suffering...being with you has brought me nothing but pain.....and now im finally free...i wish you all the best in your life... may you find a better host for you to leach on...all i can say is good riddance to bad rubbish...no looking back now...though of cos i will not get back all that ive given..haa well sacrifices have to be made
Darnisha â¥
2:28 PM
link to post
0 comments
Monday, June 04, 2007
HURT
You do not feel the hurt that i feel...u dun understand wat i had to do...i had to do what i had to do so that you will leave...so that we will break up...one fine day, you will understand why i had to do what i did....it hurts when i find out you were with him...hurts when i noe your family and friends can accept him...hurts when i noe they can accept your relationship with him and not ours...hurts when i noe that you are happy and moving on with him...it has left a great impact on me...dun u worry about it..i shall face it...this is my destiny..i shall face the pain with the little strength that i have left...what i dun understand is why now...why is it that he comes up and tells me all this now... what about the other girl that he was with?..what was that about? dun tell me that it was all an act to push me away...LIAR!!!!!!.....im not stupid...im not dumb...its not like ive only known you yesterday... please larhhhh i believe that you should treat me with more respect than that...are you trying to play the emotional card on me... do u think its gonna work? i dun think so...im the QUEEN of playing up the emotional games....do u think you can come up against that? but at the same time...i noe why he's feeling this way..suddenly felt like he will totally lose me...previously he noes that im always and will always be there at his beck and call as and when he needs me...but now, there will always be times where im not going to be around...not as free as i used to be with my time for him...i totally noe that he feels lost...but at the same time i feel that its not fair that my life has to be placed on hold just for him....its not fair that i have to sacrifice my time for him...
Darnisha â¥
7:36 PM
link to post
0 comments
Friday, June 01, 2007
an announcement.....
I would like to make an announcement....IM ENGAGED!!!!!!....haaaaa finally gitu....i mean i finally reached this stage...finally strong enough to actually take this step...its a bloody huge deal for me..helluva big step for me..though yeah some has commented that its a little too soon to take the plunge with him..some mentioned that i should actually get to know him more first...find out his true intentions...wait for his true colours to shine through...i agree with all of ya...but at the same time i do have my reasons... im fully aware of my negative-ness (for lack of a better word)...im aware that in stressful situations i would rather run...freeze, fight or flight...more often than not i chose flight...and im fully aware that if i were to look for true colours, i would not like everything that i see...there will always be someone better out there...if you are looking for it...i dun want to get to that stage...i dun want to get to the stage where im tempted to run...dun want to get to the stage where things just go bad and that i cant be bothered to work things out anymore...so let's just take the all-important step towards this at the point where i really feel i love him....on the day where the two families met for the first time, i was jittery and had major butterflies in my stomach...my darling brother said to me, you should be more nervous about what lies ahead after tonite...the challenges that you are definitely going to face...and boy is he right....challenges can come in any shapes and sizes and forms ehh...for me it came in the form of the past haunting me...as i lay on my bed admiring the bling i had just received earlier that nite, my phone beeped...received an unexpected message that nite...the conversation we had totally threw me off-balance...it was pwince...he never left my life of cos...always there but ive managed to move away far enough to have the chance to fall in love with someone else... but he came back with a vengence that nite...suddenly saying that he missed me...that he cant just put me out of his mind...that he still loves me...that he still wants me...that he is upset that he cant have me...that he is angry with ian for taking me away from him...that he does not want to lose me...that he cant afford to lose me........im not sure how to react to all that...like i said, it really threw me off-balance....but at the same time, im grounded enough to be fully aware of how i feel...yes i loved him...yes i still love him...but my heart belongs to someone else now...he can never get back what he had previously...im not willing to give up what i have now...the next day another message came in....from the person across the straits....saying he misses me....ajak me go holiday with him to my uncle's house in batam....he has been asking for some time...i keep saying im busy...i do not understand why in the bloody world he doesnt give up...someone said..let him be..the higher he goes, the harder he falls...oh well...i cant control how he feels or how he reacts to things...to end things off, i guess this is just a taste of the future challenges that im gonna face in the next year....it will come...it will come slowly...it will come at you fast...whatever it is, it will still come...i just have to be ready for it...
Darnisha â¥
12:31 PM
link to post
0 comments
