Saturday, December 30, 2006
pls remind me
everything and everyone around me carries little triggers of that person..a single word, a line in the song, a familiar shirt, scent, anything and everything can send me on a downward spiral...
i thank my frens who were there to give me the support...thanks a million guys...you noe how much i need you to be ard..even with u ard, i still have the triggers and its hard enough to bring myself up...cant imagine if i was alone...Thanks for bringing me out...for wanting to cheer me up...for getting me almost drunk :) with the yummy margaritas and of cos the quite dusgusting vodka lime at Pump Room....well all done in the effort to be there for me... wat i would do without you guys...
i did have a good time last night..just as i did last week at St James....(St James truly rawksss).....lots of nonsensical fun..am so looking forward to our trip overseas to sunny island SENTOSA!!!!...whoaa...some people gonna get so drunk then too....hehehe what with the boozing dats gonna happen....wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
anyways, i haf to apologise for leaving early last night..a fren said wah lauu zouk out you had curfew, last week at st james no curfew but u left early...and i had to leave early again this week... well many many reasons...one of which is the fact that im WORKING the next day...the other is i was heading for a major meltdown and i couldnt take it anymore.. tho we were at pump room and not st james, the feeling of being at such an establishment is the same...i noe that person works at St James and all..but honestly being in the place reminds me so much of that person...control control for an hour or so.. then cannot tahan oredi... major meltdown in the cab back home..
was a good thing that a fren was ard to lend a little support...yah i dragged her home and cried on her shoulders...like really cried...so much and so hard... she asked me later "u together for one and a half years and you cried so hard ah?" .. well i guess its not the length of the relationship dat matters but the depth of the emotions.... yah i noe its hard...but u gotta snap out of it..u gotta get over it... i noe all that i said...but its just so bloody hard...and it hurts sooo bad....
i will not let the emotion control me and overcome me....but at the same time i will not ignore it...ignoring anything has never been fruitful....
the triggers are harder to ignore....once in a while it creeps into my consciousness and will just demand attention in a way that a spoilt child would demand attention.... it really is harder to ignore... harder to forget...
whatever it is, i still have friends around me who loves me and appreciates me for the person that i am.... sweet memories i will treasure... painful ones will be a constant reminder.....
Darnisha â¥
10:35 AM
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