Monday, January 29, 2007
back into the game
im putting myself back....back into the game...back into the world of dating....after abt 7 years not being in it...feeling rather awkward..thrown into the unknown again.. not sure what to do..what to say..how to conduct urself during the first date...the getting to know each other again...GAWD!!!!!! horrible...i suck at it i think...the hi how are you how am i....eyuchhhh....bluerghhhh vomits vomits...thanks to my fren, Vem...she strung me up with a few people that i am starting to regret it...not only that im having difficulties keeping up with who is who.... well for her, guys are just for plays...her attitude is why is it that guys can treat women like thrash and get away with it....sleep with the girl and not call the next day is totally ok....i mean i do not agree with her totally...told her dat she is totally jaded and disillusioned by relationships and men...she agreed with that....to me, there is still some hope for the men out there... there are some nice ones i think... just very few and far between....my fears tho.....that i will fall too quickly...let myself be carried away with the emotions such that i lose control...vem said, do not lose control... and that i agree....tho im putting myself out there...to love and to be loved by someone...im not sure im ready for the world out there...after all, my previous relationships were all transitions from comfortable friendship....where there were no awkwardness of getting to know each other...oh wait a minute...before it became friendships there was the getting to know each other period...haizzz i dunno....im just a little lost and losing my footing here....this is totally new grounds for me ya noe....and scares the shit out of me...for the first time in 7 yrs im totally single...there was no person to fall back on...im totally alone and on my own...the realisation hits me...hits me really HARD!!!...
Darnisha â¥
7:27 PM
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