Friday, February 23, 2007
is this love?
try as i may to run away from the feeling...i still couldnt stop it from seeping through the cracks on the wall...im feeling it...tho i deny it, im feeling it....
the feeling overcomes and overpowers me...i dun want to lose myself...i fear...im afraid if i have to leave one day...i fear if things dun work out...too many what ifs...too many buts...to many uncertainties...am i ready for this?... someone once told me, and i believe i written dat down somewhere in this blog, that i shouldnt be in a relationship if im not ready to face the hurt and the pain...at this point, im still not ready to face the hurt and the pain...not ready to face it alone...but am i ready to face it together with him...
He said "i will wait till the day u finally make ur decision, then i will shout to tell the world that you are mine". He is the best at this point...he gives me what i need when i need...knows when to pull away and be a man when needed...."if it makes you happy, then i will let you go. no matter how hard it may be". My attitude towards him changed. I softened up a lot..initially i was a little rough around the edges...always antagonising him...always saying things and doing things to push him away... now i just melt against his undying patience...float with his love...safe and secure knowing that if i fall he will be there to catch me...knowing that he would not push me to take any step that im not ready to take...
"i only love you 80% of my heart. i have to keep the 20% in case something bad happens. I would need dat to pick myself up and continue living. Im sorry if knowing that hurts u"... but it doesnt hurt me sayang... it shows maturity...it shows that you are rational...shows that you are thinking and not just following ur heart and emotions...
i dunno if i love him yet...but i do noe that im falling....
Darnisha â¥
10:56 AM
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