Thursday, March 01, 2007
A.N.G.E.R.
anger seeps thru my entire being.....engulfing me...as such i see red everywhere...
Im angry...downright fucking angry...(i hope there are no censorship laws here against use of profanities)...source of my anger is known to me...there are times when im angry and i just dunno why...but this time im ultra aware of it...
been feeling kinda stuffy with the attention ian's been giving me...its suffocating...the kind of attention that u noe expects something in return...was feeling down and out yesterday...just feeling the shits....decided to tag along some frens to ladies nite at powerhouse...with one thing in mind... to unwind...how i do dat is by dancing the night away..drinking till i get high enuff to leave those worries behind...so there we were the group of us at powerhouse celebrating a fren's bdae...(diverting from the story: dis fren wanted to get to noe me but gave me such a bad impression that i just pushed him away. and im regretting it) back to my tale.... so me and fren reached there at 6..waiting for ppl to come...we only went in at 9.30pm...i did have fun...danced...drank...didnt get drunk tho...which is good...i was happy when i left...till i got into the car...
ian fetched me...was still high and happy in the car was dancing...as usual..even when im alone driving i will still dance...he said "have u not had enough?"..
conversation went...talking abt my fren, vem.....he said "vem should tone down...so shld u, dun u think?".....was soooo pissed off that i felt like punching his face in....we stopped by at the multi-storey carpark....his idea...i noe he missed me, feeling frisky and all...he started feeling me...started kissing me...was wearing this tube-dress...started kissing my shoulders...moving up to my neck...hands travelling....kissing my mouth (i shall not say lips cos he basically kisses my mouth) and all the while in my mind was my knee going up to his groin giving him the most painful of kicks to the part that would inflict the most pain...."are you feeling hot?" my answer was "i wanna smoke"
while i smoked i gave him a dressing down....says all the things abt me feeling suffocated and feel like running away...ended with "im sorry if i seemed to be demanding with all these expectations but i would rather lay it out on the table before things get worse"...his reply was "this is yours...you have not known my expectations yet."
and god dat scared the shit out of me... i wanted to run rite there and then....
was such a bad day yesterday....my cure?...another drinking-dancing session most probably...i can hear all ya voices going..'darnisha, y must u do dat?'...my answer will be its wat i want to do rite now so leave me the hell alone...
Darnisha â¥
3:31 PM
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